So, Alexis and I were in the shuttle bus returning us to our car in the airport parking lot. As the bus made its rounds of the surrounding lots, dropping off other passengers, something interesting happened. At one point a lady was scanning the lot anxiously for her car, and for a while it looked like she had forgotten where she parked. When she finally found it and was getting off the bus, she said something along the lines of: “I’m glad I remembered where I parked, thank gosh!”

Wait a minute… thank gosh?!

Wow… if gosh helps me find my car in an ocean of cars, I’m going to start thanking gosh myself!

I’ve heard of this gosh before - people swear by gosh all the time, and they are often well-mannered and polite people. This gosh must be nice, to have such a nice following.

I’ve also heard that gosh has the power to darn! People often invoke the power of gosh when in sticky situations, and I find it appealing how easy it is for them: they simply (and politely) say, “gosh, darn it!”

Maybe today I’ll ask gosh to darn my socks.

Oh my gosh… I’m simply at a loss for words for how much I love my tame gosh!

And why should it stop with me? Why should I keep the knowledge of gosh to myself? If I have such a personal relationship with gosh that I can thank gosh in public, that I can ask gosh to darn my socks in public, that I can claim fervently that gosh is MY GOSH in public, then I really should tell other people about my gosh, by gosh!

So, gosh bless you! May the power of gosh always be with you, and may gosh always darn your socks for you.

But please don’t take my gosh’s name in vain. Otherwise you will offend me.