Probably the most reckless aspect of the abundant life God calls people to live is the secret nature of its expressions:

Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.

So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

For all my slamming of the sermon-centered mechanisms of western spirituality, I must admit that I encountered one of the most powerful insights into the spiritual life through a sermon preached by Bruce Wilkerson (NOT the Jabez guy) at Grace Chapel in Lexington some five years ago. His sermon was titled “The Discipline of Secrecy” or something like that, it was about giving and praying in secret, and it continues to challenge me today.

The basic idea is this: when I give, I want to be recognized for my altruism and my generosity, so I find some way to let people know that I have just given to someone in need or that I have done something for them by going out of my way. I find this to be a powerful driving force in me - so the reward I seek in doing good or giving is the applause and admiration of other people.

I am really good at it too - I find myself casually referring to my recent good deeds in conversation, so much so that at one point I felt like every conversation I had with others was one where I tried hard to remember some good thing to bring up.

“Oh yeah, Outback Steakhouse is a great place! I was there just the other day with John after I helped him move! It was such a hot day too!”

What if there is a much deeper spiritual joy in the discipline of doing things in secret, knowing full well that NOBODY would ever know that I had done it, knowing full well that NOBODY would ever give me the credit for having done such a good thing? What if there is a much deeper spiritual reward in doing so from God, who sees me doing such a thing without expecting earthly recognition?

This is what Jesus means when he says hypocrites who make a big announcement in the synagogues [which, by the way, were the "local church" of his day] about their giving have received their reward in full. All they wanted was the admiration of other people, and they got that in full indeed.

The sermon challenged me to think deeper about my true motivation and my relationship with God. Even if I replace one reward for another, i.e. if I were to motivate myself with thoughts of the reward God has for me versus the reward of people’s admiration, I would still be a mercenary, motivated by external reward alone.

So.

This means I have to go out of my way to do something good … even if I know full well I would get no reward at all out of it, and even if I know full well that nobody else would know.

AAAAARRRGGHH!!!!

This is why the sermon was titled “The DISCIPLINE of Secrecy” - this kind of giving does not come naturally to people, it comes through time, conscious prayer, and a growing relationship with a secret and mysterious God.

The funny thing I have found in my stumbling practice of this discipline over the past very few years is this:

Not only does God reward good deeds that are done in secret, God seems to delight in rewarding likewise in secret also

Don’t get me wrong - there are glorious and visible blessings He provides as rewards so that people would know clearly that He is God and worship Him as such. But I have also experienced deeper, subtler, secret rewards that He has clearly intended to be kept secret between Him and me, an intimate part of our relationship not meant to be shared with the world.

And that’s awesome

It has only been a few years, but I am convinced I want to continue living and growing in this discipline. It is so freeing and liberating to think of things to do for others without drawing attention to them. It is freeing to think of the “unimportant” or “insignificant” little things to do, without trying to think of the splashy big ways to help others.

Many years from now, when I am looking back with Jesus on my life’s journey with Him, I would rather find myself surprised by what He points out as the good things I did when He says “well done, good and faithful servant”, instead of being in the awkward position of having to point out to HIM the many things I did in His name… only to have Him say “I never knew you.”