I am just stunned by Glenn Schwartz’s personal journey: http://www.wmausa.org/page.aspx?id=83541

This isn’t someone like me - a foolhardy young hothead obsessed with the latest Christian psychobabble fad. This is someone I want to become - a wise man, deeply experienced in God, the mission field and in cross-cultural evangelism.

I am experiencing resonance, especially with these words describing a pivotal stage in Glenn’s journey almost 30 years ago:

As my disillusionment grew, so did my search for answers. I learned about the emerging Church Growth school of thought. As I read one thing after another, I was convinced that I was not alone. It was refreshing to find that someone was verbalizing what I was feeling. During this time I engaged in deep inner searching to see what made me react so strongly to the way I and many African colleagues were being treated. I actually began to wonder if I were off base spiritually or maybe even mentally. That was a scary thought. But then I learned that there were others - from the outside - who saw things from the same perspective. For me that was like being declared sane. What a tremendous relief!

And, another that speaks directly to me as a word of advise:

During this time I began to feel the full impact of my previous experience. While in Africa I had vocalized my feelings. This vocalizing upset others, but it kept me from getting an ulcer.

In California, however, I was not speaking out as before, and the resentment resulting from my earlier experience was now being internalized. As a result, I became ill with stomach and chest pains. On several occasions I was taken to the hospital in the middle of the night thinking that I was having a heart attack. I had all the symptoms, including pain or numbness in the arms. Such experiences were disquieting.

Over a period of about a year and a half, I had one medical examination after another with hundreds of dollars of expense. No one could find a physical problem, yet I was often in great distress. On two different occasions medical doctors said to me, each using exactly the same words, “There are five things that cause your kind of problem: fear, resentment, bitterness, anxiety and unmet goals.” One said, “Before you get well you may have to face up to what happened to you in the past.” Those were more prophetic words!

Ahhhh… resonance. And hope. As Dan Gelok (the father of Dan Gelok) said so wisely in his comment on my venting about the “YOU SUCK!” gospel, this encourages me to continue seeking the One who really matters - the One who said He is the Way, the Truth, the Life! I’m encouraged I’m squarely ON the Way, that this isn’t just some red herring I’m worrying myself needlessly about, but this wrestling and dogged work toward healing and service is exactly what and where God is glorified by me right now.